In college, philosophy was a required course. As the class progressed, we learned the basic tenets of several philospical viewpoints, among which was Buddhism. At the time, this particular viewpoint made no sense to me. The BASIC of the BASIC...Noble Truths that is...says -
THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS:
All is suffering (dukkha).
Suffering is caused by desire/attachment.
If one can eliminate desire/attachment, one can eliminate suffering.
The Noble Eight-fold Path can eliminate desire. Extremes of excessive self-indulgence (hedonism) and excessive self-mortification should be avoided.
- The more accurate, yet complex version can be found here.
- The more accurate, yet complex version can be found here.
) thinking that this idea had to be the craziest I had ever run across. Hormones raging, still buzzed from my first taste of freedom, and you mean to tell me that you think DESIRE is the root of all suffering? Really? 
Didn't make sense AT ALL. My classmates and I were however quite fascinated with the ideas found in Hedonism. 
Back in class my main question had to do with LOVE...how is one supposed to LOVE under such a philosophy as Buddhism? It seemed to me that desire and attachment had to be part of the package.
Makes sense right?
I desire another person, and hopefully, he desires me the same way...
I open myself to another person to the point where he can affect my emotions, and consider myself wise to have done so if he affects them positively and I can affect his the same way...
The relationship is good; I hope things will stay this way/I hope things will last....
Yet, even at its best, these are bound to end in disappointment:
Either the person will walk away physically, or he/she will walk away spiritually "into the clearing where his/her path ends" doya kennit? (Sorry too much Stephen King. Join me if you dare
)What I am just beginning to understand is that these attitudes demonstrate a DESIRE to control the circumstances of one's love life...and an ATTACHMENT to the way things are (or in some cases, how we THINK they are).
As YET AGAIN I semi-obsessively think of my recent past, I realize that when love goes wrong, it is not the person I miss so much...hell...if it was so great...it would still be going on.
And even when the next one of quality and substance is annoyingly slow to arrive, there are always distractions...of many varieties.
<~ Yeah, I suppose Hedonism still has its uses...
As Nazty would say, BIG ASS BUT...
A. In the end, they are just that - DISTRACTions and....
B. The underlying cause of PAIN is still there...distraction or not.
It is the pain caused by DESIRE...and ATTACHMENT.
It is pain caused by an aversion to CHANGE...
And dammit, it is the pain caused by a lack of CONTROL.
(I think what annoys me now the most is knowing that it doesn't matter to an ex whether or not you ever talk to him/her again...going from extreme relevance to total irrelevance is absolutely infuriating! But what can you do? Change happens, ya know?
)Pure love...the love I should be seeking to cultivate is one that is aware of the REALITY that these changes will occur, yet is strong enough not to care. The fact that this change is inevitable is not to be taken personally...only as a matter of traversing the terrain of life. Easy to THINK you have mastered (believe me...at one point in time I thought I was there...) Harder to ACTUALLY get.
Love for love's sake is the key...and though I have NO inclination whatsoever to become a Buddhist, at least now nearing 30, I finally understand how one can love.
Sonnet 14 - If Thou Must Love Me, Let It Be For Nought
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
XIV
If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say
‘I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day’—
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love’s eternity.
You can say that again, Liz. 
