Over Analysis vs. Use of Common Sense

Analysis -

The examination and evaluation of the relevant information to select the best course of action from among various alternatives.

Common Sense -

Sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts


Just as there is a thin line between love and hate, there is a thin line between over-analyzing a person's actions (and therefore reading things into it that aren't indicated at all) and using one's common sense to determine the underlying meaning of and feelings that prompt those actions.

As a growing and flawed woman, I feel that I am often prone to over-analyze, particular when I am in a relationship.

It NEVER turns out good.

I have been most guilty of this behavior when things start getting rocky in a relationship...OR when things change in the relationship. <~ Because of my bad habit, often these two situations turn out to be one and the same, although they don't have to be.


HOWEVER

There comes a point in time when a person's repeated actions can equal only one conclusion about their feelings about a given individual and/or situation, no matter how much they claim you are over-analyzing those actions. Also, if those actions are harmful to or disrespectful of you, no matter what feelings they indicate, they can no longer be seen as acceptable forms of interaction.


A "friendship" with a recent ex has got to be the most interesting scenario for this dynamic to play out.


On one hand, you have one or two people acting from places of pain, rejection, and resentment, regardless of the feelings they may or may not still have for one another. Even the possibility of these feelings makes you want to stick it out...try...hang on to what you had (or the obvious lies about what you didn't have) for just a little while longer.....

On the other hand, you have one or two people simply not willing to cut their losses and walk away from the situation...because of the aforementioned feelings...or pride, or some subconcious sado-masochistic desire to hurt or to be hurt by a person they were deeply connected to.

Very confusing.

I've learned a lot about myself and my former partner in the past three months. As always, hindsight is 20/20, and each failed situation gives me foresight for the next go around (or so I hope).

These days, I often wonder how it can feel like I have a better idea of who a person was that I dated for less than six months than I have of a person I was with for almost three years.


Life is funny like that, but in the end, I think its all about communication.



My list of favorite things includes ex-boyfriends because of lessons like these (and the fact that some of them turn out to be pretty awesome...after awhile).


But suffice it to say the following:

1. Friends act like friends...even when it hurts. Even when it means walking way. :-)



2. Enemies act like enemies, and "friends" acting like enemies are enemies.



3. In this life, you have to look out for Number 1, because no one else is going to do it for you.

If I am over-analyzing, so be it. I call bullshit.

Sometimes, analysis, or even over-analysis has got to be equal to or greater than "common sense".